Millennials: Make Your Sex Life Young and Sexy

Cream Pie | Alexis Rogers | February 29, 2016

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Between relationship goals and home wrecking hoes, sex has come to the forefront of millennial lives (behind career goals of course). Some are monogamous, while others are enjoying the single life. Despite your sexual preference, it is safe to assume that those who are sexually active enjoy sex. AmIRight? Cool. The question is how does one enjoy having sex everyday without getting tired or bored, especially if you have the same partner. You may say “nah my pussy bomb,” or “my dick will put you to sleep.” But lets be real…

How unique is your pussy? How rare is that dick?

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As millennials we need to take advantage of our innovative intellect. Sex should never be boring. It takes thinking and energy to have a true fuck fest or love making session. With that being said let me give you some key points on how we can convert casual sex to some millennial savage type shit. I’ll split it up by gender. Let’s begin:

Ladies:

    • Move that twerk from the club to the bed: If you’re poppin’ that pussy for the free drink or a spot in VIP, why not utilize those skills on the dick? Bounce that ass on the dick. Practice on a chair. If you’re in a strong relationship, I’m sure your significant other wouldn’t mind you practicing on him.

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  • Watch porn: Porn may sound disgusting and unholy to some, but it is actually the perfect learning device if your sex game be weak. Ask your man or partner what kind of porn they watch (believe me, they watch). Go and briefly watch some. Pause and rewind that shit if needed. Your main (or side) will certainly appreciate these new skills you’ve acquired. As a bonus, analyze the head given and perfect your head giving skills. If you don’t give head, you need to start! If you’re a lady down with the kitty kat, this works for you too!
  • Suggest a sex tape: It doesn’t need to be professional. You can set up your computer on a desk and fuck away (make sure to every now and then look at the computer, it adds some sexy flavor when you replay it). The key is to make sure it’s on YOUR computer so only you have access to the video. But remember consent goes both ways, so make sure your lover knows what you’re doing and has agreed to it. When you’re done, you and your man can watch it together and start round 2. Ayyyyye.via GIPHY
  •  Gentleman:
    • FOREPLAY IS KEY: You can’t fry chicken without adobo and oil. Stop blaming the ladies for not being wet enough. Play with those nipples. Lick that clit. Use your blunt rolling skills. If it doesn’t sound like mac n cheese you may need more seasoning. Ya feels me. You’re the cook.
    • Don’t be a rabbit: A constant speed is no bueno. If you’re a rabbit that only knows how to hump then you need to work on that stroke game boo. Fucking requires some motion and some hip action. Make the lady FEEL your gem. If she doesn’t give you that unexpected cross-eyed, mouth open, back scratching, head-board pulling reaction. You ain’t got the juice bruh. Hit it up, down and around.
    • Take Initiative: Ladies love when their man takes control every now and then or all the time. Don’t ask her what she wants. Flip that ass over and tell her what’s good. She may even look back at it in surprise. Ayyy BONUS. HOWEVER, Don’t switch up positions too fast so that you can use some ideas for another round. But at the same time pick her up, sit her on your lap and let her ride, or lay her on a table to let her know you can handle her.

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    Some extra key points to take away:

    • Stay Clean: Ladies and gentlemen, shave, or at least keep it neat. Scrub those areas…please. Damn. Nobody wants to face sweaty balls from playing ball. Nobody wants to smell the ocean every time they go down.
    • Experiment with location: Car Sex. Park Sex. Library Sex. High Sex. Drunk Sex. Fucking while cooking…
    • Spice it Up: You’re never too young to have to mix things up.
    • You’ve gotta walk the walk to talk the talk: Don’t let people down.

    These tips are for any type of relationship. Now be creative and…

    FUCK AWAY MY LITTLE SEXUAL BEASTS!

    I bet you can hear the panties dropping already…

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    *Disclaimer: I couldn’t tell you all my tricks. A magician never reveals her secrets.