Guys Have It Too Easy: A Girl’s Failure in Her Quest for C...

Cream Pie | Niara Jackson | October 26, 2015

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Let’s face it guys, men have it easy. They are naturally sexual beings, and they can express themselves at any time without fear of embarrassment. For one, they can catcall any girl they see that they find attractive, while I, a non-male sexual being, wouldn’t dare tell that senior I see on the yard every day that he is fine af, and that it doesn’t matter that he has a girlfriend, and ask him why he can’t have friends. There is an obvious double standard, which is a problem in itself, but that’s not what this is about.


I am not here to bash men. I’ m here to applaud them. And I want to learn from them.


My friends, my men, please share. How do you find casual, no-strings-attached sex?  As a college student who is too stressed about maintaining my GPA and balancing two jobs to consider any type of long-term companionship, the ideal partner (yes partner, this is all business) would be someone who is a phone call, text, or DM slide away. Someone who is available for your everyday Netflix and chill. Someone who does not feel the need to share our encounters with everyone he connects with on social media. Not even his roommate. In this age of full disclosure, I’d prefer to have my business stay my business, and my time to stay my time. I’d just like to share it with someone else for minor intervals a few times a week.


But before I get into what type of partner I need, someone, anyone, how do I find a partner? What smoke signals do I need to send for someone to come to my rescue?


I have a friend who recently tried to immerse herself in the world of casual physical exchanges, and let’s just say it wasn’t too successful. After weeks of proclaiming this year as her year of thottery, she finally found a desirable candidate. Just attractive enough, a genuinely nice boy, and unknown by the rest of the university population. Perfect, right? After starting a dialogue through Instagram DMs, she thought that he was the one. Until she tried to virtually put the moves on him, and he was completely oblivious. When she complained that she didn’t have Netflix, instead of INVITING HER OVER, he sent her his password so that she too could enjoy some online streaming (which she used, because why not). When she asked about his plans for the night, instead of sending the coveted “come through” text, he proceeded to detail what he was actually doing later on.


Everything he said would send her into a serious case of eye rolling that was completely worthy of whatever nice boy response he had given. It eventually fizzled out, and we couldn’t help but pine over what could have been: the perfect business partner.


The takeaway from the woes of my friend was that this casual sex thing is way too much work to set up, and we see why guys don’t typically go for the nice girls. It’s not worth the time and effort that it takes to get them to warm up to the idea of being an (for lack of a better term) on call ho. As someone who identifies as a nice girl herself, I hate to generalize, but it truly is hard out here.


So my question for you guys is: how do you find these business partners? Do you find someone who looks like a good candidate on the yard? Do you scour the GroupMes to find that girl who always likes your fire drill memes? Did you use that Netflix and chill application that was floating around the Internet?


What is your secret?? It’s officially autumn, and the heat in my room doesn’t work, so I need to find a bed filler ASAP.


If you have any words of advice for my friend or I, please send it our way. Preferably through kik, the hookup medium of choice.