DC Welcomes President Donald Trump into the White House

The 202 | Alexis Rogers | October 26, 2015

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As we all know, President Barack Obama has done absolutely nothing for America during his Presidency. Republicans have made it clear that ending the war in Iraq, passing a healthcare reform, increasing support for veterans, improving school nutrition, decreasing the unemployment rate, and other such “accomplishments,” to put it quite frankly, don’t mean shit. Unfortunately, the U.S. House of Representatives was surprisingly unsuccessful at proving that these acts of improving America were unlawful and should result in impeachment and removal from office as he should be found guilty of terrorism.

“His name alone is all the evidence we need to support that these acts, alongside bringing America out of a recession, means he wants to commit treason against himself,” says Lincoln Chafee, who has decided to be a Republican again.

I mean, I’m pretty sure that nobody wants a president with a beautiful family and no crazy scandals in the White House. That’s ridiculous.

Just look at them. All Criminals. Obviously

President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama, and daughters Malia and Sasha pose for a family portrait with Bo and Sunny in the Rose Garden of the White House on Easter Sunday, April 5, 2015. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama, and daughters Malia and Sasha pose for a family portrait with Bo and Sunny in the Rose Garden of the White House on Easter Sunday, April 5, 2015.
(Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

 

As a compromise the House of Representatives took it upon themselves to do what’s best for the Country. They ran it by the United States Senate, and they all agreed to elect Donald Trump as the co-President until official elections in 2016. America will be great again. Let me briefly tell you why.

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Trump has already reached out to Raúl Castro, President of Cuba. Together they participated in a seance in order to speak with Fidel Castro. Fidel revealed to them the truth about immigrants: He enchanted them all and sent them to America in order to take all the low paying, hard working jobs that everyone goes to college for and to murder and rape everyone. Fidel continued to make it clear that all Latinos are in fact Mexican, and they need to be sent back to Cuba.

Starting in January, every American who looks like an immigrant will be forced to swim to Cuba. President Trump plans to start with President Obama. President Obama will serve the rest of his Presidency while enslaved in Cuba. However, President Trump plans on keeping some of the “Mexicans” to work for him (*wink wink*) in the White House.

By the end of the mass deportation President Trump will finish building a huge wall surrounding the whole country. Trump says Hawaii and Alaska do not count as a part of the country.

President Trump has personally asked Seth Rogan to create a movie that accurately portrays his Presidency and actions.

All hail President Trump.images-1

 

 

 

THIS IS A SATIRE